Changing the Rules of the Game
by Teenangel
Summary: While on a mission Daniel touches a strange device...and it turns him into a woman! You'd think he learn by nowno touchy! JD slash err... physically not, sexual content, language. ON HIATUS do to Plot difficulties.
1. Chapter 1

**Stargate: SG-1 "Changing the Rules of the Game"**

**by Teenangel **

Summary: While on a mission Daniel touches a strange device...and it turns him into a woman! (You'd think he learn by now-no touchy!) J/D slash (err... physically not), sexual content, language

Notes: This is kind of placed in the early seasons. Gen. Hammond is still present. Also, this story ignores any concrete attraction between Sam and Jack. It's a slash fic-get over it or vacate!

Disclaimer: I'm not making even half-a-cent from this, suing me would be trivial and waste company profit. Enough said--on with the entertainment.

Chapter 1: The House that Jack Built

"Sand, sand, sand, and sandy ruins--I'm thinking of building a house here--in the sand," Colonel O'Neill stated, wiping the nuisance from his gear and sunglasses as he idly walked about a crumbly edifice of an unknown race.

Sitting down--on sand covered floor--Jack took the useless time to circumspect his latest, and purely archeological, mission. He sat beneath an ancient atrium, which now stood open to the arid winds and scorching sun. Its walls were granite, smooth to glass no doubt in the past, but presently only shredded jags of rock; some corridors lay partially intact, saved by other dying walls; in the center etchings still survived; and a cylinder pedestal, surrounded by the entire complex, alone lay unharmed.

"Sand, sand, sand--"

"Damn it, Jack." Snapped the poor peeved archeologist, standing on his knees intently examining the "scribble" language--as Jack had named it. Daniel ran a hand over his cropped sandy brown hair and made a forced entry in his journal.

Jack leaned back on his pack, "Spacemonkey enjoying himself?"

"Please, don't call me that."

Jack stayed quiet for a moment; then a breeze came, scattering grit everywhere, "Done yet?" he asked half-exasperated. Daniel made a grunt--a no, decided O'Neill. Restless Jack shifted, moving closer to Dr. Jackson. His illogical and childish mind compelling him to express his boredom. Daniel heard the colonel, ignored him, stared vacantly at the scribbles-agreeing silently that Jack had given them a proper name-then, after a quarter of an hour of windy silence, got suspicious.

"Jack?"

"Right here," said a voice. Daniel looked down to find the colonel concentrating on the final touches of a sand castle held together by canteen water and wrapping quite curiously around Daniel's knees, "Look!" cried O'Neill quite pleased, "It's the house that Jack built--"

The castle crumbled suddenly as its supports stomped about, "Out!"

"Hey! That was my vacation house."

"Jaaaaccckk."

"I'm going, going," he assured Daniel, "I'll check on what Carter's doing-probably scanning the sand."

Daniel waited, 'til O'Neill's sand-scraping footprints stopped and Carter began to speak, before breathing a sigh of relief. He had nothing against Jack or his humor, but in such "dire" situations as this--hint: nothing to blow up or shoot--both could get a little out of hand. Truthfully Daniel enjoyed Jack's antics, notably when they were pointed at him, even the Spacemonkey label. He wanted the extra attention: it made him feel--appreciated.

"Jack," mumbled Daniel, admiring the decimated castle underneath him. Thoughts fluttered through his mind-memories, half-recalled dreams. Then, he refocused, running his fingers across the wall. Undistracted, his eyes opened up and the "scribbles" became coherent-"machine...changing...life-code...opposite-".

A loop pressed down by his finger pushed inward. He wasn't startled; the "no touchy" rule never really applied to him, this was a common occurrence. No doubt he had powered up an ancient star map or awoken a dormant robot or turned on a refrigerator--hey in this wasteland they'd have needed one.

A watery glow emanated from the center room. He dragged himself off his stiff knees and curiously entered, standing before the polished podium. It sent a stream of moonlight into the surrounding air, which cascaded down in wisps and bent towards him. Daniel felt hypnotized and foolishly grabbed out. The closet wisp moved toward his fingers like a minnow. A Sudden graze upon his skin like shattered ice, snapped him afraid, and in a ghastly whoosh and violent splay of icy tendrils, the light engulfed him.


	2. Chapter 2

**Stargate: SG-1 "Changing the Rules of the Game"**

**by Teenangel **

Summary: While on a mission Daniel touches a strange device...and it turns him into a woman! (You'd think he learn by now-no touchy!) J/D slash (err... physically not), sexual content, language

Notes: This is kind of placed in the early seasons. Gen. Hammond is still present. Also, this story ignores any concrete attraction between Sam and Jack. It's a slash fic-get over it or vacate!

Disclaimer: I'm not making even half-a-cent from this, suing me would be trivial and waste company profit. Enough said--on with the entertainment.

Chapter 2:

Major Carter and Colonel O'Neill froze in horror as an agonized scream pierced the sandy wind. They turned to each other, coming to a common conclusion. Jack hastened to the ruins; Carter dropped her instruments and followed suit, grabbing the med. gear.

"Daniel!" called out Jack, walking over Dr. Jackson's notebook. A stifled groan came from the inner chamber. There they found the pedestal shattered, a bluish ember dying softly away in its center.

"Sir!" cried Carter, kneeling at the still form against the wall.

Jack did a double take, "Who is it?" he asked, for what lay in Daniel's loose clothes was not Daniel, but a woman with cracked glasses sliding off her nose and long sandy brown hair cascading across the military vest with the name "Jackson" embroidered on it.

"Sir," said Carter, "I think she is Daniel."

Daniel Jackson awoke to the familiar scent of the infirmary and thought back on what had happened to bring him here. 'Oh, yeah... stupidity and I touched something.' He shifted in his sterile sheets, finding nothing broken or in pain. He imagined how foolish he'd feel if he'd only fainted, but he remembered something about being in excruciating agony-and the light. He then became aware of a strange weight on his chest and the sound of a clipboard.

"Daniel?" whispered the caring voice of Dr. Fraiser.

He blinked open his eyes, recognizing her by the shape and shade of her dark brown hair pulled into a bun. A couple of blurrier images hovered in the background, which he could only assume were his worried companions.

"Hi," he said, or thought he meant to say, but the voice that came out was higher than his own, though the soft consonance was similar. His confusion must've shown through his expression, because Janet began to assure him everything was fine and rambling on about a change.

"Ugh, just tell him!" Jack ordered.

A blond figure moved to his bedside, "Daniel," said Carter's voice, "What you touched--well--it activated a genetic manipulator," Daniel stared blankly at Sam as she with held a chuckle, "It, um, caused some changes in your DNA and, um--this is ridiculous," she took a deep breath and blurted, "Daniel you're a woman!"

"I'm a what!" he yelled, and a high-pitched screech came out. He bolted straight up and sat in shock, taking a deep, panicking breath.

"Here," said Jack thrusting a pair of glasses onto his friend's face and pulling a mirror off a near by table. Daniel-or should it be Danielle-stared into the reflection that was not quite his own, though similarities existed. His face was oval, chin small, cheeks smooth and round, his lips were pinker, fuller. He pinched himself, but it was not a dream.

The weight on his chest dawned on him and he groped himself, "Damn--I've been boobed!" he stated. Jack was startled at the curses that followed from Daniel's mouth and couldn't help smirking. And with that everyone, but Teal'c, let themselves break out into mild giggles. Daniel--Danielle?--didn't seem upset that they were entertained at his expense; in fact, he wasn't anything but shocked.

Besides, they'd fix it--they always did.

Daniel was released from the infirmary an hour later, wearing clothes Janet had loaned him--and a bra. He tugged on the under wire as he walked down the halls to his office, vaguely taking into account the stares and snickers he received from Stargate personnel. It disturbed him a little, but he agreed it was amusing and would be quiet a tale-to-tell after he was back to normal.

Shutting the door of his solitary escape he let out a feminine sigh. He was alone at--the back of his bra was pulled and snapped back smartly onto his spine. He turned to find Jack with a coffee cup and a conspicuously smug look.

"Hello--Danielle," he said.

Daniel rolled his eyes, "Jack?" he mumbled and stood staring a hole into him.

"Inviting me in yet?"

"No, you're having too much fun with this, bye-bye..." he shut the door in the Colonel's face. Then, he turned into the room and rubbed his back, mouthing ouccchhhhh. He sipped on some cold coffee--not caring its age, and began to rifle through translations, working his way around his new additions. He didn't think breasts would be such a bother. What size was he anyway? Daniel unclipped the bra long enough to read the tag-34B-not bad. Jeez, why did he care? Daniel quickly tried to ignore his own perverted sense of pride, but couldn't reclasp the strap.

"Damn it!"

A knock startled him, and he became even more frustrated. What would someone think of him checking himself out?

"Daniel?" called Sam's voice, "I was hoping to talk to you."

"Uh, come in, and shut the door," the female voice answered from his lips.

She did so and stood perplexed, "Need help?"

"Maybe--" he was grateful Sam was much more understanding than Jack was.

Sam gently clipped it and then took a step back, cocking her head, "You make a good woman."

Daniel smirked, "Remind me of that when I'm me again. So, uh, what is it you came to talk about."

"Huh, oh right," she muttered, "I just discussed you're "condition" with General Hammond. He agreed to give you some time off until we find a way to reverse--it. Also, Janet suggested and I agreed that maybe, to help you out," he knew she refereed to the bra, "you should stay over at my place for sometime."

Daniel nodded, "Sure."

"Great, we'll leave in an hour. Do you need to pick anything up from your apartment?"

"Nothing that would fit-no,"

"Okay--I'm sure it'll be okay," she assured him.

"Yeah, thanks."


End file.
